Super intelligent hyper dog invasion!!!

Friends, I have never been more terrified in my life. I'm not talking about the war in Iraq, the rising ultra nationalism in Serbia, or tensions with Iran over their nuclear ambitions. I am talking specifically and in hushed tones about the new menace... Dogs who know how to use computers.
I was browsing my Friendster page and noticed that in the singles in my area section was a picture of "Muffin". I thought, "how odd. A girl with the screen name Muffin. She must be a freak in the bedroom." Indeed she is freaky, freaky terrifying.



(Muffin)

Muffin is a super smart computer savvy dog. And Muffin isn't the only canine using Friendster... Oh no, I found hundreds more! Average dogs with names like "Cookie", "Pixie" and "Bubba"...



(Cookie)

...are infiltrating Friendster.
Now, the question comes up... How are these dogs logging into Friendster and why? As far as I could tell most of these dogs got a great sense of satisfaction out of being pets to their "masters" but, right there in the terminology something was unsettling. To have a master implies a derogatory power structure with a "slave" to the "master". So, if the dogs here see themselves as "slaves" are they intending to overthrow this system? If so do they see their "masters" as their enemy or all humans? Further investigation into these doggy accounts revealed that these dogs were mostly interested in eating, pooping and meeting other dogs. I could tell below the surface that something sinister was happening but I couldn't put my finger on it. That's when I found the most frightening link...



(Peanut)

The dogs were Friendsters with cats. Anyone who knows anything about anything ever in the course of the world knows that dogs and cats hate each other. Sure liberal Hollywood wants you to believe they can get along but if you've ever seen the split nose of a puppy or the half eaten corpse of a kitten you know this is typical big screen bullsh*t. Yet on Friendster I was finding connections between hundreds of thousands of dogs and cats. Is there an alliance? Is the enemy of my enemy truly my friend?
I tried to dig deeper. I started contacting these dogs and cats, innocently prodding for information. It didn't take long before I was told to stay away.




(Shiro)

"Hey jerk off, I don't know who you think you're fooling with your little messages but let's get something straight. Whatever you think is going on is much much bigger, and unless you like the idea of ending up in an industrial meat grinder in Jersey you better keep your questions to yourself. You've been warned by the IPLF (International Pet Liberation Front)"
After wetting myself I became calm, almost serene. That's when I decided to tell all. Stay vigilant reader, the cats and dogs are everywhere. If you see them in packs, run for your life. Keep your fire arms locked away (they don't have opposable thumbs so they can't use keys). Be prepared because whether we like it or not... the war is coming.