Malaise, Apathy and f*cked up haircuts

Dearest readers, as many of you know I recently switched postal codes. I did this not through mail fraud and trickery but instead with a moving truck and a new apartment... A new palatial apartment. I'm now living in my "friend" Brian's apartment. I use the quotation marks to denote the fact that Brian openly dislikes me.

Brian's apartment is located squarely in the Bedford, Mini-mall, Metropolitan section of Williamsburg... Land of the dreaded Hipster.
Some of you hail from areas that have no Hipsters, or places where people think they're Hipsters but wouldn't know a real one if that said Hipster bit them on the ass. Of course a real Hipster would never bite someone's ass unless the act of biting the persons ass sent a message exactly opposite of a normal ass biting. The point being no self respecting ass biting Hipster is going to bite a non-Hipster or Hipster wannabe's ass. Why would I put so much effort into that explanation? If the clarification means absolutely nothing to the real world it is paramount to the Hipster.
There are advantages though to living in the realm of the Hipster. One is that they cannot see you. Hipsters exist in a parallel universe that bisects our own. Though we can touch Hipsters, talk with them, or smell them they cannot be effected by us in any way.

It's actually pretty refreshing for me. In Park Slope it seemed like you couldn't go anywhere without being accosted by couples with McLaren baby strollers and dogs. In Williamsburg even the dogs are disaffected. They won't even sniff your feet when you walk by them.
But contrary to Craigslist, Williamsburg is about more than just Hipsters. There's also the businesses they started. Trendy cafes and shops, art galleries and boutiques, there's pretty much something for everyone there, unless you're poor. If you're poor go to Bed-Stuy or something. Though it may not look like, Williamsburg has some money circulating in it and we don't need you pan handling or looking all mooney eyed through our restaurant windows... Especially not when I'm dropping a hondo on four courses.
So far my favorite spots have been:
Teddy's Bar 96 Berry St, Brooklyn, NY (718) 384-9787
Roebling Tea Room 143 Roebling St, Brooklyn, NY (718) 963-0760
Barcade 388 Union Ave, Brooklyn, NY (718) 302-6464
If you can put up with the apathy, disfigured hair cuts, and clothes reminiscent of a salvation army bombing then Williamsburg might be for you. In fact give me a call and we'll go get drinks*†.
*All offers to get drinks are subject to you being cool enough to get drinks with me.
† You are not cool enough to get drinks with me.