Welcome to the Machine

Oh dear gentle reader,

So much has happened since I last wrote lines of digital information to you. I cannot fathom where to begin with you all. Firstly, you may notice that you are not on Friendster. This is because you are not on Friendster. I have moved Toilet Time For Tiny Town to give myself the ease allowed through the wonderful programmers (nerds) at Blogspot. I also moved because I have friends with blogs here and I am a sheep.


Secondly, I am once again single. Some of you may be scratching your heads (or lower) and saying "I didn't realize he'd been off the market". I had, I was, and I am not now. Yes, once again I am on the market. Unfortunetly, due to some cruel Japanese price fixing, I am currently undervalued at being cute and sort of funny. I should, by any standards, be valued at hot and genius. Unfortunetly I have been unable to remedy my standing on the Nasdaq.


Thirdly, Video Gaga has begun to suck up much of my creative life. This is a good thing, as my only other outlet is this blog. Let's face facts people. I couldn't give two shits about any of you, but if I'm up on stage I might get famous. If I get famous I'll finally be able to afford the sycophants I've always deserved.


Fourthly, I recently came back from Minnesota where I saw many dear friends, and Dan Itzkowitz. Yes, my friends back home are doing quite well. Some are home owners, some are in stable loving relationships, some have great jobs.

I ask you, who wouldn't give up all that to move to a city of eight million people, none of whom know your name? Who wouldn't trade loving friendships for backstabbing assholes and emotionally crippling friends? Who doesn't prefer the joy of lonely annonymity to the

careful questions of a caring pal? I'll tell you who, people with no self respect... Certainly not yours truly.





Fifthly, I wrote, recorded and shot a video for Colonel Bastard, my rapper alter ego. I have yet to put it up on Youtube, but mostly because the DVD will not fit through the mouth piece on my cell phone, and unless I can get that fixed I'm out of alternatives.

So that's where I'm at this moment. Back from a trip, loving every moment of work. Looking forward to more of the mind numbing, soul crushing, ass dripping heat that summer in NY brings. Praying for a quick and timely death before anymore angst/pain/tragedy befalls me.

So to you and yours I wish the best. Let's hope this next week sees an end to Lebanese/Israeli hostilities, a less aggressive Iran, and a littly smoochy smoochy for me.