Well, as most of you know by now, last night... in a fit of anger... I did something bad to Dan McCoy. It's easy to point the finger at me and say "John, you were overreacting". You might be right, but I like to look at it like this: That dirty low down mother fucker took the bread out of my mouth. I'm supposed to do the music news. That's my fucking job, not some self styled "Comedian". I took that position seriously, and to be replaced by a comic stings more than a little.
But it goes deeper than that. Dan and I have a history of animosity going back to the Goldwater campaign and culminating (before last night that is) with the taping of Tanner '88.
Some say that Goldwater lost because he had weak standing with the American public, but in '64 when I was working the campaign I'd say Mr. Goldwater represented a shift back to America for Americans. Dan, on the other hand, saw Goldwater as a hawk, the kind of voice we needed in office to show the commies who was boss. I think it was Dan's inflamatory speaches he wrote for Mr. Goldwater that lost us the election. Below is a segment of one of those speeches:
"I accept your nomination with a deep sense of humility. I accept, too, the responsibility that goes with it, and I seek your continued help and your continued guidance. My fellow Republicans, our cause is too great for any man to feel worthy of it. Our task would be too great for any man, did he not have with him the heart and the hands of this great Republican Party, and I promise you tonight that every fiber of my being is consecrated to our cause; that nothing shall be lacking from the struggle that can be brought to it by enthusiasm, by devotion, and plain hard work. In this world no person, no party can guarantee anything, but what we can do and what we shall do is to deserve victory, and victory will be ours... us rich whites that is."
Dan is also notoriously racist.
By the time I was brought on to consult on Robert Altman's Tanner '88 I'd grown tired of the Republican party. Altman's leftist politics appealed to me, and I appreciated what he was doing with his satire series. It was upsetting to then see Dan McCoy, sitting in Robert Altman's chair, when I arrived on set. I remember taking Michael Murphy (Jack Tanner) aside and saying "what's that dick doing here?" and hearing, my heart dropping into my stomach, that Dan had been brought on to assist me in consultation. I think this too is why Tanner lost the election in the fictional series. I know Dan got a bug in Altman's ear, and I think he convinced Altman that the ultimate payoff for the show would be to have Tanner lose. Really though, I think McCoy just couldn't stand having a liberal, fictional or otherwise, win another election.
It was with great anger that I learned Sara Schaefer, the host and my co-producer on video gaga, had replaced me with Dan. Yes, it's true... I got a little nervous during our rap off last month and I pissed my pants. And yes it's true that my cocaine addiction has started to get the better of me, though saying I'm out of control is ridiculous. I could stop any time I wanted to. I just don't want to. But replacing me with Dan? That's an act that requires swift and brutal revenge. Dan McCoy is my nemisis and I can't even begin to tell you the feelings I was experiencing when I watched him walk on stage during my segment... MY SEGMENT! Yes, yes I can begin to tell you the feelings: Rage.
So I went up there to get my job back, and when that didn't look like it was going to happen I did what any sane and rational person in business would do: I eliminated the competition. Maybe it was wrong to stab Dan three times, but he lived. He's doing very well at Mt. Sinai and the doctors expect a full recovery by the end of 2007. So if that's being wrong, I don't want to be right. Rest up Dan... I'll be visiting you at the hospital real soon...
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